Have you ever been surfing the web and you find this site where this really funny person posts a whole bunch of really funny articles and you read through the whole thing and think, wow, that was funny, I wish I could write funny stuff like that?

Really? Yeah, me too. Go figure.

So, me being the health-ily competitive person I am, my next thought was, Hey, I'll bet I could write pretty funny stuff, too. All I need is a good name for the column and a liiiiittle bit of feedback to keep me writing. Shouldn't be too hard, right?

The good name part was a lot harder than I thought.

I mean, with all the good sites out there, I couldn't think of any really good names. Every name I picked was already a website, a comic strip, or a published work of literature. It's like the curse of the internet. There's so much shit, no matter what you think of someone somewhere through of it first, or at least thought of something similar. Creativity proves a hopless illusion. Ah, well, I cling to it in delusion.

Okay, okay, it's not very funny so far. So sue me. Wait, no, I forgot, this is the US. Someone probably could sue me. Please don't. I'll even put a big warning label on it.

WARNING: DESPITE THE BEST INTENTIONS OF THE AUTHOR, THIS COLUMN MAY NOT BE AMUSING. WE APOLOGIZE FOR ANY INCONVENIENCE THIS MAY HAVE CAUSED, AND WILL REFUND YOUR WASTED TIME ONCE WE'VE GOT A MACHINE TO DO THAT WITH.

DON'T HOLD YOUR BREATH.

There. All disclaimered and whatnot. Time to move on with our lives, yes? Yes.

Enjoy the show.